


Ten Ways In Which To Abuse You Power

by Methoxyethane



Category: Bleach
Genre: Crack, Crackverse, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-10
Updated: 2008-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-26 05:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Methoxyethane/pseuds/Methoxyethane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A note to all Captain-ranking Shinigami in regards to the recent incidents of blatant power abuse- Stop it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Ways In Which To Abuse You Power

A Note To All Captain-Ranking Shinigami On Abusing Power: Please Don't.

Do Not use your power to convince others to give you sexual favors. It is blatant abuse of the power this court has bestowed upon you. (Kyouraku, please stop trying to seduce unsuspecting new recruits.)

Do Not offer promotions to those not in your Division, particularly in exchange for sexual favors. (Please stop getting their hopes up, Ichimaru. It's very impolite.)

Do Not use your power to get free stuff. (Zaraki, is booze really THAT expensive?)

Do Not rape. Just because you're strong enough to hold them down doesn't mean you should. (This includes knocking them out and them violating their unconscious bodies.)

Do Not molest your Vice-Captain. Just because they're strong enough to defend themselves doesn't mean it's fair game. (Kyouraku, Kuchiki, I'm looking at you here.)

Do Not intimidate others into doing stuff for you. (This applies to pretty much everyone.)

Do Not kill people. It's not a 'training accident' if it's pre-meditated and you all know it. (Kuchiki, Komamura, Aizen, Soi Fong, Hitsugaya, Zaraki- I know all of you are guilty of this in some shape, and the next time it happens you'll actually receive due punishment.)

Do Not use your position to convince people to have sex with you. Banging groupies is discouraged in all forms. (This also applies to pretty much everyone. If you need it that badly, at least don't go within the Court.)

Do Not pull pranks on other Shinigami. Just because it's easy to replace Tousen's coat with a hot pink one and then watch as he tries to figure out why people have been laughing at him all day doesn't mean you should. Making fun of the blind is highly inappropriate, no matter how funny it is. (You know who you are.)

Do Not shirk your duties. Just because you can't be replaced doesn't mean you can't be punished. (It's called flogging, and I assure you I'm perfectly capable of it.)

Thank You.

-Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryuusai-Soutaichou.


End file.
